Experiencing rejection in the realm of romantic pursuits is never a pleasant ordeal. However, when rejection takes the form of “ghosting“, the sting can feel even more profound. With the growing reliance on dating apps to discover potential partners, the prevalence of ghosting has been on the rise.
According to a 2019 study published in the journal ‘Imagination, Cognition and Personality‘, 29% of participants admitted to ghosting someone, while 25% found themselves on the receiving end of this silent departure. If you’ve invested weeks or even gone on a date only to witness the other person vanish into thin air, rest assured, you’re not alone.
Ghosting, an abrupt cessation of all communication channels, encompasses not only romantic relationships but also extends to friendships and professional connections. To comprehend the reasons behind this perplexing phenomenon, let’s delve into the science and psychology that underpin ghosting on dating apps.
Unraveling the Mystery: The Science Behind Ghosting
Definition
Ghosting involves the sudden termination of all forms of communication—ignoring phone calls, texts, emails, social media messages, and any other means of interaction. While often associated with the romantic domain, it can transcend friendships and even professional ties.
Motives
Contrary to assumptions, individuals who choose to ghost are not necessarily acting out of malice. Various reasons drive this behavior, shedding light on the complexities of human connections.
Lack of Interest
In a 2019 BuzzFeed survey, a striking 81% of participants confessed to ghosting someone they found uninteresting. The majority believed that only after multiple dates, intimate involvement, and meeting friends did a relationship warrant a proper explanation for its end.
Life Interference: While not a justifiable reason for abruptly cutting off communication, some individuals resort to ghosting when life’s challenges, such as family issues, sickness, or work-related stressors, become overwhelming.
Depression
Individuals grappling with depression often struggle with isolation and pushing others away during episodes of low energy. Ghosting can be an unintended consequence of this emotional struggle.
Boredom
Research indicates that some people turn to dating apps as a distraction from boredom. Engaging in superficial conversations without genuine interest often leads to a sudden cessation of communication.
Avoidance of Confrontation
A small-scale study found that a portion of individuals choose ghosting to sidestep potential conflicts. The fear of hurting someone’s feelings through direct rejection prompts them to opt for complete silence.
Attachment Styles: Individual attachment styles, formed early in life, significantly influence relationship behaviors. Those with avoidant or anxious attachment styles may struggle with processing and communicating emotions, leading to a tendency to ghost.
Beliefs in Destiny
Intriguingly, individuals with strong beliefs in destiny and soulmates may perceive ghosting as an acceptable method to conclude a romantic relationship, according to psychologist Gili Freedman, Ph.D.
Personalization
Unfortunately, some individuals tend to internalize blame when ghosted. A 2021 study revealed that 37% of respondents who experienced ghosting believed it was their fault, attributing it to perceived inadequacies.
Seeking Closure
It’s important to recognize that being ghosted is not a reflection of one’s worth. More often, it exposes the other person’s challenges in communication, a lack of respect for others’ time, and a certain level of emotional immaturity.
While the natural inclination is to seek closure, avoiding self-blame is paramount. Remember, ghosting is a manifestation of the other person’s shortcomings, and nurturing self-worth beyond these experiences is key to moving forward.
